Can the words “Yes, and” actually help you improve communication, collaboration on your marketing team?
Today's guest believes you can!
In this episode of #ThoughtLeaderConversations, V2's Roger Courville, CSP sits down with Avish Parashar, CSP, keynote speaker, workshop leader, and Amazon best-selling author of Say "Yes, And!": 2 Little Words That Will Transform Your Career, Organization, and Life!
As you listen in to this conversation, you will:
Discover how the "Yes, And" approach fosters collaboration and innovation by eliminating the restrictive "Yes, But" trap
Learn how emotional responses like fear or defensiveness often drive "Yes, But" reactions and how to shift toward a more constructive mindset
Understand why embracing discomfort and breaking free of old habits is essential for individual and organizational growth
Hear how "Yes, And" can transform even seemingly impossible ideas into opportunities for creative breakthroughs
Find out how applying improv exercises in workshops helps participants internalize collaboration techniques through direct experience
Explore why starting with empathy and openness leads to more effective communication and team dynamics
Learn how the "Yes, And" mindset can drive personal and professional transformation, opening doors to new possibilities
Gain insights into how playfulness and experimentation unlock creativity, even under high-pressure situations
Discover how adopting a collaborative approach to problem-solving builds trust and morale within teams, and
Understand the importance of storytelling and personal experiences in illustrating the transformative power of "Yes, And".
Learn more about Avish and his work at https://AvishParashar.com.
Series: #ThoughtLeaderConversations
Sponsor: V2, LLC, expert virtual and hybrid event production, www.VirtualVenues.com
Host: Roger Courville, CSP, https://www.linkedin.com/in/rogerc/
Keywords: #Leadership #YesAndLeadership #CollaborativeInnovation #EmpathyInAction #TransformativeMindset
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UNEDITED TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Roger Courville, CSP: Can the words yes and actually help you improve communication and collaboration on your team? Maybe even your marketing team. Well, today's guest is quite sure that they can. Hello and welcome to leading a yes And team, maybe a marketing team. My name is Roger Courville and, uh, welcome to another episode of Thought Leader Conversations sponsored by the crew here at Virtual Venues, where you can instantly scale your virtual and hybrid event production team with a really experienced crew that helps you focus on something other than tech and logistics.
But we're not here to talk about us, and I'm excited to welcome to the virtual stage Avish Parsher. Avish Parsher. C. S. P. Important, important letters, keynote speaker, workshop leader, Amazon bestselling author of the book, say yes. And, and importantly, certified speaking professional, which is the highest earned award from national speakers association.
That is no small achievement of each is a real pro welcome of each. Glad you're here. Tell us a little more about who you are and what you do.
[00:01:06] Avish Parashar, CSP: Fantastic. Thank you, Roger. I'm excited to be here. Uh, and yes, and you're also a CSP, so let me give you back your flowers as well. So yes, uh, I talk all about yes, and my background is for over 30 years, I have studied, performed, and taught improvisational comedy.
And for the last 20 plus years, I have been a professional speaker showing groups how they can use ideas from the world of improv to collaborate and communicate more effectively, to respond to change. and increase their innovation specifically through the lens of this one improv comedy idea, which is about responding with yes.
And instead of yes. So that's what I do. It's in keynotes. It's in trainings and workshops. As you said, it's a ton of fun. And people walk away hopefully with a new way of approaching their teams and their organizations and their business.
[00:01:57] Roger Courville, CSP: And I've been there. Uh, you came to, when I was the, uh, on the board at, uh, NSA Oregon, uh, you came and did a workshop.
So I've actually been a, a positive recipient of, of, of, uh, of each day and having a stand up, walk around and, and have a lot of fun as, as we learn something. So I know you work with leaders that are more than just marketing, obviously, but, that's who's probably listening to this. And I'm excited because I have been in one of your improv workshops.
Uh, let's talk about this approach and your book say yes. And in which you also interesting, I want to hear this story later, have a story about Luke Skywalker, but first, you know, I think you begin by calling it the trap and you already kind of mentioned it, the yes, but versus the yes. And what was the challenge that you were seeing that organizations have?
[00:02:50] Avish Parashar, CSP: Sure. Well, the yes, but trap is this, yes. This yes, but trap is this trap. I think we all get into, which is that we get very comfortable in our comfort zone to be redundant. We have a way of doing things. We have our ideas. And ironically, the, the more experienced we become and the quote unquote, smarter, we become the stronger, the trap becomes.
We get more confident. We get more fixed in our ways. And the yes, but trap is that when we are presented with a new idea, with an alternate way of doing things, or when we're forced to change, it's Due to internal external factors. We immediately say yes, but to it like, ah, yeah, but that's not for me. Or yeah, but here's how we've always done it.
Or yeah, but here's my idea. And this is what I want to do. And we do it to protect ourselves. We do it because we think we're right. And we do it because we think it's going to make us more efficient. but usually what it ends up doing is limiting our creativity and absolutely cutting us off from opportunities to be even better, to achieve more and to be more successful.
And it's, it's very common in, um, well, I was seeing it very commonly in the corporate workplace. Um, and what's very funny is that what I would go in and a lot of times the manager or leader would bring me in to talk to their people because they need to collaborate more. We want them to take more initiative.
And I don't know if you experienced this with groups, but invariably when I'd get in and start talking with that group. They would say, Oh, we've tried this, but our leadership always says yes, but to us, they, every time we try to stick our neck out, they criticize us or we get in trouble. Um, so I realized that in the beginning, yes, and it was just one idea I talked about.
And sometimes I'm a little slower on the uptake than I should be. It took me years to realize this is the idea that people are talking about and resonating with. And the more I spoke on that and really paid attention, the more I saw how much it was impacting people's lives. That simple shift from butt to end can have a huge transformation.
[00:04:44] Roger Courville, CSP: Uh, my brain, even as you were talking, my brain was spinning and thinking of my own personal example in my corporate world. When, you know, I went from startup to Microsoft and started a couple of companies, but yeah, we used to have. Uh, the problem of not invented here as in, as in, Oh, that department says, yeah, but that was not our idea.
[00:05:06] Avish Parashar, CSP: Well, that's what I was just doing a workshop for a group and, um, it was a multi day thing. I had like a bunch of groups, you know, three hours each. Um, they really wanted to bring this. Yes. And to their culture. And I was talking with it and one of the breaks, this woman says to me, and, you know, as a workshop leader, a speaker, you hate to get this comment.
She's like, I think this information is great for my personal life, but it's not going to make any difference here. I was like, Oh God, you hate that kind of pushback. I was like, all right, tell me more. And his exact thing, she was like, Oh, well, um, you know, we've got our leader who we need to get sign off on.
And every time we try to reach them, they're not available. And I need their sign off on something. It just sits on their desk for weeks. Um, no, she was very positive about it, but it just goes to show that like, even at the highest levels, these people, like you said, the not invented here, not my job, or I'm too busy.
It's It's so pervasive, it's so default, and that's why I kind of call it the trap because the people who are doing it don't even realize they're doing it.
[00:06:01] Roger Courville, CSP: Yeah, I mean, another example that went through my head was a yes, but which was Somebody who had a, uh, a ton of experience at the, at the organization and anytime something was presented with regard to a new idea, innovation, collaboration, the yes, but was, yeah, but you know, we tried that one time in 1973.
And
[00:06:23] Avish Parashar, CSP: that's the amazing thing. We tried it once before and it didn't work.
[00:06:28] Roger Courville, CSP: So just out of curiosity, um, you talk about this, uh, a mindset shift. If I say, if I That's a fair way to characterize it from yes, but to yes. And, um, take that a little deeper when dealing with, uh, an objection or, or that kind of yes, but feedback.
Um, how do you help someone at least manage themselves? If not grow within their organization, like the lady you were just talking about,
[00:06:59] Avish Parashar, CSP: I think one of the most under Valued under, talked about elements to, uh, communication to performance, especially in the corporate world is emotion and feeling, right.
You and I are probably similar ages, so you probably coming through the work world, you probably heard the message of, um, feelings. Don't matter. Feelings shouldn't matter. I don't care how you feel, just do the work. Um, and what's ironic about that is, uh, usually the person saying that is in a highly emotional state.
They're like, I don't care how you feel! Um, but you know that, that, that forgets the important fact that we're all human and like the human experience is to have feelings and we can say, when we're saying feelings don't matter, what the person is really saying is your feelings don't matter to me. and the reason I'm going into this is that yes, but is an emotional response.
We say yes, but usually immediately because we're feeling some emotion and it could be uncertainty, fear, defensiveness. So the yes, but comes out. So the first step in making that switch in your default, the mindset shift is not this tactic where everyone jumps to tactics first. It's the first step back and look at emotion.
So if I am presented with an idea I don't like and a yes, but pops up. I want to pay attention to how am I feeling? And before I respond, ask myself, is this the best feeling for me to have? Is this decision an emotional decision or a logical one? And sometimes you can change it immediately. Sometimes you need to break out of it, right?
You need to pause. Like, I don't know. I'm having been married now for 12 years. You know, sometimes you get in some discussions with your spouse. Yeah. And it is amazing how there's this tipping point. Yeah. And this is really can be anyone doesn't have to be a spouse where the discussion now no longer has any potential of achieving anything.
And that's the point where you are both speaking from emotion. And when I can pull out of those and pause and say, let's take a break, then you can come back and suddenly you're able to positively. Collaborate and solve it. But when you stay in that emotional state, nothing positive happens. So do what you have to do to shift the emotion before you have your yes, but, or yes, and, option.
Is the sort of long winded answer to the question, but how do you make that mindset shift?
[00:09:22] Roger Courville, CSP: No, it's a perfect, uh, it's a, it's a, it's a perfect answer, I think. Because, uh, to your point. We often, We often think of, uh, the, the, the organization that we work in world in a more mechanical sense rather than, uh, or transactionally instead of relationally, which is it's all relationships, right?
It's relationship with clients, relationships with your team, relationship with your boss is a, is a function of, of managing relationship. significant other and So I think that's a I think that's what an insightful answer If
[00:10:02] Avish Parashar, CSP: I could take it a step further Yes that Like I think emotion applies to everything if you think about the quality of your emotions like your quality of relationships is how you feel about the person The quality of your culture, right, you know culture is a big thing.
We want to culture well What is culture culture is just how people feel about working at your organization and yet we think it's it's Ice cream parties or incentive bonuses or no, it's just if you can get people to feel good authentically not through this fake stuff, but Authentically feel good about the relationship about the work about the organization then all that stuff improves if we Remove that then none of the other stuff matters And you'll see this all the time.
Like people, they'll do incentive programs to improve the culture and people will take the bonuses and the benefits. Um, but the first chance they get to move on to a better culture, they will.
[00:10:57] Roger Courville, CSP: So we've clearly identified the trap and some of the challenges there. And let's switch to the positive. Uh, and maybe since obviously you and I are not, we're just having a cup of coffee and not, uh, and you know, not actually in the middle of a, of a Describe.
A workshop for you and how you kinda get people from point A to point B.
[00:11:22] Avish Parashar, CSP: So everything I do, whether it's a, a workshop, which we assume is gonna be hands-on, but even a keynote, and I've done this when I have a thousand people in the audience, it's still interactive. Um, so, you know, I set the stage, I explain what improv is, I demonstrate it so people get a sense, but then I will actually have the audience.
play an improv game where they use yes, but and yes, and they have the exact same conversation. They're like, a lot of times it's you're planning an event, planning a party. And I say, plan this party where every sentence has to start with yes, but, and they go for a minute and then I say, okay, now redo it.
But now every sentence has to start with yes, and, and it's like this light bulb. Switch goes off and you ask people afterwards had yes, but feel how did yes and feel and it's pretty universal. Yes, but felt negative Restrictive frustrating limiting and yes and felt positive Collaborative made a lot of progress so it immediately Hits the light bulb and a little side note.
And one thing I was mentioning in the workshops is that, as you said, this is about mindset, it's not a literal technique. So pushback sometimes is what you can't just say to yes. And everything, right? Sometimes you disagree. Sometimes the other person is wrong. I'd be heck sometimes with the group. Like, sometimes what the other person wants you to do is illegal, or breaks policy.
And so it's, it's not about always doing what the other person wants. It's what's our default mindset? Am I starting from a place of, let me try to understand and respect and empathize? Um, and then from there it kind of spins out depending on the objectives of the group. We can take, now we've got the foundation idea.
You know, I'm doing two presentations next week. One group wants to talk about change. One group wants to talk about communication. So then we go deeper with yes. And, and how that mindset helps you, you know, a variety of different areas. And again, it's all even throughout it's interactive and we give examples.
So it's a lot of fun. It's hands on. Some people walk away though, knowing, okay, here's. What I can do tomorrow when I get back to work,
[00:13:11] Roger Courville, CSP: big exclamation point, uh, just to confirm what I think was just brilliant. And one of the things that I think was brilliant and what you just said, because you can do it even in a large group, like, you know, keynote to people, but there is something powerful to helping someone actually have the words come out of their mouth.
You times repetitively. I literally just two days ago ran a workshop teaching people some networking skills in advance of an upcoming conference and put them into a speed networking kind of thing. We were using a tool called ring central events that has this kind of like timed, uh, We'll automatically pair you up with somebody else and put you into this little private conference where you can, and had them all practice and literally some of the feedback that came, came out of it at the end was, yeah, my, my pitch kind of felt a little clunky the first time, but now after I did it with three or four people, um, it started to feel really natural and it kind of came out of me in a way that, that sounded like me.
And so even as something as simple as yes. And to your point. Um, just having that actually come out of your mouth, not just know the principle in your head, but actually having it come out of your mouth, paying attention to your emotions and, and doing that a few times with somebody. Um, I mean, that, that can be transformative.
[00:14:31] Avish Parashar, CSP: Well, yeah. And that's the thing, I think of both your example and my example and kind of come back to what we're talking about before is it conveys a feeling, right? Like when you're talking about the, the pitch thing, it's like, Oh, it felt flat. Oh, what was the emotion when I, and then they care that when I do it, I talk about feeling, how did yes, but feel, how did yes and feel.
And so you're. Tying it back to that. And then by you're giving them an emotional experience, which, you know, there's all these studies about memory being tied more to emotion, right? So when we're high emotional states, so we remember stuff. So, yeah, from a learning standpoint, getting people interacting and feeling something, just, you know, really reinforces it in, in whatever the topic is.
[00:15:06] Roger Courville, CSP: So you mentioned a couple of different use cases for like next one, communication, one creativity. Do you approach how you help people grow in creativity versus communication a little different? Are there some nuances there?
[00:15:21] Avish Parashar, CSP: It's, Almost exactly the same in that it starts with yes. And it's, it starts with improv with the yes.
And it's the only real difference is it's one is a little bit more internal focused, one's a little more external, right? Communication is more about saying yes. And to other people, creativity is more about saying yes. And to yourself and that little voice in your head that pops up an idea that initially you think is stupid or impossible, or like you said, Oh, we tried that in 1973 and we can't do it.
It's shifting that focus. So it's now it's. Well, let me say yes. And that we tried it in 1973, but let's explore it. What if we tried it now, what could we do? Right? Cause especially with a background in improv, you really learn that creativity goes hand in hand with play. And too often we're trying to be creative when we're in a very serious situation.
I need to solve this problem or we need to get more market share or, Oh, we're doing a, we're coming to the marketing campaign and we're under a deadline. We got to really come up with something that's going to convey our message in this. These constraints and we take it so darn seriously that we absolutely cut off our creativity.
So it's about saying yes and to this really bad idea, but doing it in a playful way. And again, that's more internally driven versus communication, which is external.
[00:16:39] Roger Courville, CSP: You know, it's funny. Um, a lot of years ago, the company I co founded when I left Microsoft, uh, at one point, about half the company reported to me was, um, producers and media team and tech support, whatever.
And. I wanted to give them permission to go solve problems in the context of, of somebody asking for something that was a little outside of the scope of their job, right? Hey, they're producing an event for somebody, but now they want to do this. And I, believe it or not, I actually taught them to use yes and in that context said, We can do that rather than instead of just saying, no, that's not on the, that's not on the scope of work, but also then to follow up by, uh, by sharing what the consequence would be.
Yes. And if we do that, though, we're, you know, we'll end up with, and I don't know that that's a perfect application of what you're talking about, but it just kind of came to mind as you were just describing the process with an external client. It is a
[00:17:41] Avish Parashar, CSP: good example, and what it does is it illustrates this really simple idea, which is that the word and versus the word but is a very powerful distinction.
You can say the exact same phrase. But if you use an and or a but, it completely changes the feel of it, right? Like, yes, we can do this, and here's the consequences. That feels collaborative. Like, I'm just letting you know this was what happened. But it's, yeah, we can do that, but here are the consequences.
Suddenly that feels more like, oh, you're like telling me not to do this, or, you know, It was old saying that like, if you say but, the word but negates everything that came before it. So, um, we, like, these are the consequences that could happen, but we could still do it, or we could do this, but here are the consequences.
It's whatever comes second is important, you know? It's like, oh yeah, you are a great guy and I really like you, but It's like, well, who cares about that? You think I'm a great guy? It's like, you just negated everything you just said.
[00:18:40] Roger Courville, CSP: Talk about Luke Skywalker. I, uh, it's been a while since I read that little nugget in your, in your book. And I don't, uh, and it's okay if you don't even remember that little nugget in your book. There's stuff I wrote years ago that, uh, I don't remember, but do you remember the story about how Luke Skywalker ended up demonstrating yes and?
[00:18:58] Avish Parashar, CSP: Yes. So, uh, I'm a big nerd. Um, sci fi, fantasy, Star Wars, all that stuff. Uh, in fact, I was wearing two different Star Wars shirts earlier today over the course of the day. Um, so George Lucas, when he wrote Star Wars, patterned it on this thing called The Hero's Journey, which is by Joseph Campbell. And that is a universal storytelling framework.
Mm
[00:19:20] Roger Courville, CSP: hmm.
[00:19:20] Avish Parashar, CSP: And When I looked at that frame, we're going to look at Star Wars, really what it is is it's called all stories start with the call to adventure and almost all stories have the refusal of the call. So, and the way that played on Star Wars is Ben Kenobi comes to Luke and is like, you gotta come with me.
We're going to train to be a Jedi like your father. It's going to be awesome. And Luke says, no, I can't. So what he's really saying is, yeah, but. Like, oh, that'd be great, but my life is here. Yeah, but. And then what happens in a hero's journey is something happens where. It's called Crossing the First Threshold, where the hero basically says yes and and steps across, so when Luke finally said yes, I will go with you to Alderaan and become a Jedi, that's what really propels the story forward, and so I say it, you know, Luke Skywalker saved the universe by saying yes and, if he had just stayed with his yes but, he'd never left the planet.
Never would have destroyed the Death Star, Empire would have won. So, it's from Star Wars, which is a simple story, but Star Wars is based on a universal life experience called the Hero's Journey. So, for all of us, we have our own personal call to adventure. We usually say yes but to it because of emotion, because we're uncomfortable, because we're overwhelmed.
And when we make that switch to yes and, we can also cross that threshold and really start moving forward.
[00:20:37] Roger Courville, CSP: That, my friend, I think sounds like a powerful, a powerful learning moment. potentially in the life of of a corporate leader because, you know, one of the corporate leaders challenges is they know that getting change implemented in any kind of context is a difficult thing, right?
We're thinking when I was a Microsoft, I remember people coaching me saying, well, you know, you got to manage up and help your manager think they thought of it. And, but if just that simple little switch, whether in self or probably first in self, but also, you know, uh, getting that into your team, that's a, that's a, a foundation for the change that is oftentimes so difficult to, to, to implement, right?
Yeah, just change. It's not how we do it here.
[00:21:37] Avish Parashar, CSP: Yeah. And I would say probably 70 percent of my keynotes address change because there's whole saying yes. And to change embracing it, you know, looking, shifting how we think about it, because most people, when change is happening, they either want to just, why can't we go back to the way things were, or how do we put our head down?
Ignore this and resist it and maintain the status quo, which is. How individuals and organizations fall behind, right? Like, cause the world is going to change whether you want to or not. And if you maintain the status quo, the world is going to pass you by. And we see countless examples of this. There's nuance to them, but you know, you can go to a Kodak, ignoring digital photography.
blockbuster ignoring, um, you know, the Netflix model. There's again, there's nuance if you look really deep into these stories, but at the end of the day, it was people either saying, let's just keep doing what we've been doing and ignore the change, um, and not push through the barriers that crossing that threshold to, to step into the discomfort of moving forward and changing.
[00:22:35] Roger Courville, CSP: My favorite example in that is, uh, the music industry ignoring, uh, MP3s, right? And they Suing Napster instead of buying Napster, right? And here comes, uh, you know, at the time, Steve Jobs and invents a whole new way of doing things. Holds up a thing, says, Oh, a thousand songs in your pocket. Here's the iPod, right?
And next thing you know, it's been on to dominate the industry for, for years.
[00:23:03] Avish Parashar, CSP: Yeah, and then Spotify comes along and just makes everything available, which I think this is the thing that gets Missed when it comes to creativity is and this is why that yes, but is so dangerous I think the best most innovative stuff happens when we say yes, and to an idea that is terrible or Impossible or that we look at or like there's no way that could be done And when we say yes and to it and go about the process of trying to figure out how to do it either We will figure it out You Or if we can't, a lot of times that's going to lead to other innovations, right?
Um, so one of my favorite, uh, slight tangent here only because it's you, and I believe you are also a, uh, a big Rush fan, the band Rush, my favorite band, um, and there's a story I tell in my, in my keynotes is, uh, they were working for those who don't know Rush is like this band, they're known for writing very complicated, very difficult to play music, and they're incredibly talented.
So one of the early albums called Hemispheres was a very complex album, and when they're interviewed about it, the drummer who passed away, uh, recently, he said, you know, when we wrote that album, we were writing music that was beyond us, and I just love that, because he's like, you know, we wrote songs we couldn't even play.
But we had to figure out how to play them. We had to improve our skills, our technology, our ability. And by doing that, they really took their performance and skill to the next level. So I think if we look at a goal, whether it's a personal, a team, a marketing and organizational goal, it's something that when we first say it, we're like, how on earth am I going to do that?
I could never do that. And instead say, instead of saying, yeah, but it's too big or it's impossible to say, all right, how are we going to do this? And maybe you achieve it, which would be amazing. But even if you don't, you've improved your skills. You've grown as a person, as a professional, and you may have even uncovered a whole new direction to move in that you never would have seen if you just stayed in that, yes, but.
cumbersome. So I love the idea of pursuing the stupid, the impossible, the ridiculous, as much as an exercise, as a practical application.
[00:25:11] Roger Courville, CSP: Because if you choose not to decide, you've still made a choice.
[00:25:15] Avish Parashar, CSP: Exactly. And so many people, yes, but as a way to choose not to decide.
[00:25:19] Roger Courville, CSP: Well, you know, there's a, there's a parallel.
Uh, so when I do, you know, sometimes consulting, and I'll be in a, in a conference room or a boardroom with, um, and I'll, I'll be at the whiteboard and I do a lot of facilitating, right? Getting them what I do and, or teach them to do is a process for brainstorming that begins with getting all of the stupid and impossible and all of that out without judgment.
Step one is just brainstorming or gathering ideas. Without evaluating them, right? Mm-Hmm. Before you move on to analysis and synthesis to, you know, kind of figure out where you're going, which rather ironically, I've never thought about it this way, um, is in a way a yes. That, that first part of the Yes, but, or I mean the yes.
As in, okay, maybe it's stupid. Maybe it's impossible.
[00:26:09] Avish Parashar, CSP: Put it on the board. Let's play with it.
[00:26:11] Roger Courville, CSP: Right?
[00:26:13] Avish Parashar, CSP: Yeah. And the other, the two reasons we're doing that one is you never know what's going to come out, but two is there's this whole bit on creativity and how the ripple effect of ideas, so yeah, you put an idea up there that's stupid or impossible.
We tried in 73 and didn't work. That may be a terrible idea, but that's going to potentially create this ripple. I'd have this whole pond metaphor. It's going to create a metaphor. It's going to create a ripple of a different idea. Which may also be bad, but that's going to create the ripple. And so by pursuing the ripples, if you start with a bad idea, you may very well end up with a, a good one.
You never thought of before.
[00:26:48] Roger Courville, CSP: So as we, uh, start to approach the landing here. Are there any other metaphors or stories that are just, that always just seem to work for you, kind of like the Rush story?
[00:27:01] Avish Parashar, CSP: Uh, there are, there's definitely, well, I'll, I'll, I don't know if this is exactly what you're looking for, but I'll share.
This is one of the stories that I tell all the time, and I won't go into like the full delivery of it. But the thing is that, I honestly believe, That one yes and, the right yes and, has the potential to absolutely change your life. Because you look at me, doing improv for 30 years, 20 year business, teaching improv.
When I was first introduced to the idea of improv, it was in college. I had never done improv, I did a little scripted theater in high school, but I was going to be an engineer. Right, I'm Indian, I went into IT. Um, so, I'm like, I can't do theater, I'm too busy with engineering classes. So my one friend in college freshman year is like, Oh, Avish, you should try out for the local, the campus improv group.
I think you'd be good at improv comedy and true to form. I immediately said yes, but to him, I said, nah, but I I'm an engineer. I'm not going to do theater or yeah, but I've only done scripted work. In fact, I said, ah, with my style of humor, I don't think I'd be good at improv anyways. Now I had never done improv, I hadn't even seen the group perform, but I was like so sure of my comfort zone that it's not my thing.
Now Matt is fortunately one of these annoying friends, who uh, once he gets an idea in his head he won't stop. He kept on me about it, and I kept saying yeah but, until finally, he sort of tricked me into going to see a show. He had like a friend coming in from out of town, he's like, Hey, he's coming on Saturday but I got an activity in the evening, do you think you can hang with him?
I said sure. So then he said, oh, by the way, you know, without Annette has their big spring show that night you two could go. I was like, ah, you tricked me. And I had nothing. I didn't know what else I was to do with his friend. So we went to see the show and man, I was blown away from the moment it started.
It was hilarious, it was funny, it was high energy, it was creative, and I just fell in love. And fortunately when the show ended, the director's like, Hey, thanks for coming to our show. Uh, if you liked what you saw, we're having auditions next week. That was it. I went a week later, audition, and that one moment of just simply stopping saying yes, but and saying yes, and absolutely transformed my entire life.
And I got so lucky because I said yes, but at first, but Matt being the nagging friend he was stayed on me. But so often I feel like we only get one opportunity, right? An opportunity comes. You say yes, but it's gone. Someone else takes it. The world changes. It moves on. So I honestly believe that like.
That's why I'm passionate about this. I do think that like that little shift can absolutely transform your life. One little yes and at the right moment. Can change everything. I mean, I almost yes butted myself out of even doing improv comedy. Like I think it can work for anyone.
[00:29:45] Roger Courville, CSP: Hey, I'm going to throw up on the screen here.
Uh, the, well, that probably didn't come out, right? Did it?
[00:29:51] Avish Parashar, CSP: I like it though.
[00:29:54] Roger Courville, CSP: Tell the crew listening, uh, how they can get in touch with you and or your yes, and starter kit.
[00:30:02] Avish Parashar, CSP: Sure. So the website is avishparsher. com. It's got all the info about me speaking programs. Got a lot of videos. I did a TEDx talk, which is like a little 18 minute hit you hard with what yes, and is all about.
Um, and I recently created this thing called the yes. And starter kit. which you can get at avishparsha. com forward slash yes and starter kit. Um, it's just a PDF guide that gives you an overview of what yes and is why it's important and how you can start using it right away. So if you want more info on yes and you're like, Oh, that's a good idea.
I'm not sure where to get started. Get the yes and starter kit. It's free. It's got a lot of great information in there. Um, plus you can kind of mine a lot of other info off my website and videos as well.
[00:30:40] Roger Courville, CSP: Well, and I will make sure that that link shows up when, when this gets posted. Uh, we'll make, put links to your website and that particular, um, yes.
And starter kit, et cetera. So if you're listening. You just, however you ended up listening here, go find the, uh, the notes and you'll find the links appropriately to connect with Avish and, and, uh, Also, if
[00:31:03] Avish Parashar, CSP: you're listening and you can't write this down, um, there's not a lot of Avish's in the world. So if you type my name into Google, A V I S H, I'll be one of the top couple of results.
[00:31:15] Roger Courville, CSP: Avish, final question. Are there any questions I should have asked you that I haven't?
[00:31:23] Avish Parashar, CSP: Wow. Well, I should have prepared for that one, but I'm an improviser. Uh, you know, offhand, I don't really think so. Cause I think you covered the main things. Um, I can tap dance a little bit to see, but no, honestly, you asked me kind of, we got into yes.
And we got into emotion. And the main thing I really wanted to get across was I want to talk with you about rush. And, um, I want to impress on the listener, how, Important it is because one yes and can absolutely change your life.
[00:31:50] Roger Courville, CSP: Yeah, we, we would need another four or five hours to talk about Rush.
[00:31:54] Avish Parashar, CSP: True that, true that.
[00:31:55] Roger Courville, CSP: How many times, did you, uh, I've seen them four times live, uh, when they were still around. Um, you, you ever, ever go see them live?
[00:32:02] Avish Parashar, CSP: I think I counted, I think it was 11 or
[00:32:04] Roger Courville, CSP: 12. Okay, so you're the one. And I
[00:32:06] Avish Parashar, CSP: came to them a little bit late. I started going to see them in 94, like, and they'd already been around for 20 or so.
But as often as I could, whenever they came to Philadelphia. Yeah.
[00:32:16] Roger Courville, CSP: All right. Well, thank you again, uh, Avish Parashar. com and, uh, Forge slash yes. There we go. Uh, seriously appreciate you dropping a few wisdom nuggets on it today. Um, honestly, there's some, there's some good usable stuff right here, but more importantly, you want to bring Avicii to the stage or workshop or something near you, or go pick up a copy of his book.
And, uh, anyway, we want to thank Avicii for taking the time to, uh, to drop some some wisdom bombs on us here today. And I want to thank you again, our sponsor, Virtual Venues, where you can instantly scale your virtual and hybrid event production team. We will catch you on the next episode of Thought Leader Conversations.
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